This is a video from the last module in my Master of Social Entrepreneurship program at Hult International Business School. I worked a couple of my classmates to organize this surprise pledge at the end of our last class with a professor to thank him for coming to teach us.
Over a few months and lectures, Mike Edwards took the class through a systematic exploration of the crushing problems currently facing humanity. In the process we were all forced to challenge our beliefs about economic activity and how change happens.
At one point in the pledge we say that we ‘are ready to be the naked dancing guy or at least one of his first followers’. This is a reference the below video that a couple of our professors have shown us to underline the role of first followers in leadership.
We also mention that ‘playing the didgeridoo in an electronic music group is a legitimate career choice’. Besides the fact that this is a true statement, it was a reference to the fact that for a chunk of Professor Edward’s career, he dropped out of his profession as a scientist to tour in an electronic music group playing, that’s right, the didgeridoo. Now he does both teaching and performing and recording music with his band Didjitalis.
Figure 1: Chloe’s analysis of my social network activity. Click to expand.
She also provides the following pie chart of my 42 tweets to date:
Figure 2: Yucky pie made out of my robot tweets
So is it true that my Facebook and Twitter accounts are being maintained by robots? That’s ridiculous! And true. Ridiculously true. The only reason I joined Twitter because of the number of robots available to help me share the activity I care about to some of the networks I care less about. My friend Dakshana has also called me out for using Twitter as my very own real life WUPHF.
I performed my own little analysis of Chloe’s 497 tweets since she joined the network on 21 February 2011.
Figure 3: Delicious pie made of Chloe’s tweets
As you can see in the above pie chart, most of Chloe’s tweets are about tea. While I cannot claim to have done an actual study her tweets like she did of mine, I will claim that my pie is prettier than hers. Just look at it. Mine is all three dimensional and textured. Just look. It is true that Chloe used Twitter to openly conspire with Stephanie Doig about how they were going to call me out for being bad at Twitter, something I would have seen if I wasn’t so bad at Twitter.
So far Chloe’s campaign has earned six ‘likes’ on Facebook, one ‘like’ on WordPress and one supportive comment on the blog post while another commenter wants me to be his life coach even though he has a much better life (and blog) than me. That makes it a total of 10 people who openly care about by horrible tweeting. Not a very impressive number, especially if you compare it to the 39 people who have joined the Facebook group “if 1 000 000 people join they will ban COLSLAW !!!!” [sic]. It is also interesting to note that most of the ten people who joined Chloe’s campaign are among those who I threatened by name in my speech at Chloe’s wedding. Who knows what their true motives are.
Figure 4: The Internet doesn’t care that I am bad at Twitter
The end of Twitter is nigh and we know when
You know who else doesn’t want me to use Twitter? The universe, that’s who. Twitter is doomed. This rest of this post is dedicated to the over 200 million registered Twitter users who have been investing this platform with their quips, insights and impersonations of Star Wars characters.
To do some research on the fate of Twitter, I partnered with Real Life Scientist and Real Life Chloe-husband Robin Wilson and his Real Life Buddy Berkley Staite. In order to select an appropriate stand-in for Twitter in our doomsday calculations, Robin and Berkley provide the following analysis. If you don’t understand it, that’s okay – you probably don’t have an advanced degree in science.
1) ‘Chloe Filson’ almost sort of rhymes with ‘Tony’s cinnamon bunn’.
Figure 5: Tony with his bunn
2) Tony built Monstro LAN-D, the fourth of seven LANs made up of ungodly tentacle networking and terrifying many-eyed hubs.
Figure 6: Montstro LAN-D
3) Monstro LAN-D was built by Pheer McQuink, a half-legged clock salesman. His motto is “Would you like to buy a-HO-HO-HO-CLOCK?”
Figure 7: Pheer McQuink selling clocks
4) “HO-HO-HO-CLOCK” looks like a string of modified Starship Enterprises (from Star Trek) being pulled by CLOCK which is almost the same as Nugbert (both words are a single letter in height).
Figure 8: Nugbert pulls some Enterprises
15) Nugbert, the helpful ship-pulling clock, under the alias Sam-I-Am met Jean-Luc Picard on twitter, and they’re totally rad pals.
Figure 9: It all comes full circle
To review:
Chloe Filson = Tony’s cinnamon bunn = Monstra LAN D = HO-HO-HO-clock = Nugbert the clock = Twitter. Chloe Filson is Twitter. Twitter is Chloe Filson.
Now that we have concluded that, the next question is as to the fate of Twitter now that we know that it is Chloe Filson. Consider the following indisputable facts:
1) Chloe Filson = Twitter (see above).
2) Chloe was born on 6 December 1984 and died 27 August 2008 when I hosted a fake funeral for her instead of a going away party before she moved to Israel. By that point she had lived 8,665 days.
Figure 10: Me delivering an eulogy at Chloe’s funeral next to her taxidermied corpse.
7) According to her third grade Language Arts notebook, when Chloe was nine years old, she knew 12 monsters (see below table). Now that Chloe is 26 years old, it is logical to presume that she must know 35 monsters by now if she has continued to follow the same pace of monster-knowledge.
Figure 14: Monsters Chloe knew at nine years old
Figure 15: Rate of Chloe’s monster-knowledge
Therefore:
29.7% [Chloe's lifespan fulfillment] x 16 years and 4 months [Blue Jay's lifespan] = 4.85 years or 1,776 days
4.85 years or 1,776 days + 15 July 2006 [Twitter's launch date] = 26 May 2011
So if Chloe is Twitter and Twitter is a Blue Jay, Twitter should have died on 26 May 2011. It didn’t. Clearly we need to add a correction factor. This is where the monsters come in:
26 May 2011 + 35 monsters = 30 June 2011
That’s right – Thursday, 30 June of this year Twitter is going to end somehow. Bold prediction? Robin and I feel the math speaks for itself.
And that, Chloe, is why I do not really use Twitter.
A review of my blog’s stats reveals that an earlier post on the band Honeyman and the Brothers Farr has been one of my most popular. This has much less to do with the quality of the post than it does the band’s ineptitude with the Internet. Despite their best efforts to hide in the shadows of obscurity, a number of live videos have been leaked onto the aforementioned Internet. Now that they finally have an album for sale and a big show coming up, I thought I would share with you some of my favorite songs of theirs to hog more of the traffic they would receive if they had more than an ugly myspace page.
Red Velvet Rope
The first time I heard this song my mind was blown. Most of the songs James writes seem to be written by someone who is about two thousand years old and carry with them the wisdom and sorrow of witnessing the rise and fall of many civilizations and the loss of several lovers to old age.
Armed Robbery You know how fans has their favorite member of the Beatles, the Backstreet Boys and the Ninja Turtles. Well my favorite member of Honeyman and the Brothers Farr would have to be Simon. His songs are some of their best and I would have more for you here but I couldn’t find enough decent videos, so you’ll just have to buy the album. Here’s an example of one his heartfelt and effective pop songs.
Stranger
The reason this one is entirely out of focus is that Tamsyn (the sister Farr) filmed with a tiny camera hidden inside a cowboy hat. One of my favorites by Eric.
Tonight We’ll have to wait for the next for the next album to get a proper recording of this one but it has become a regular feature of their live shows. It’s got a great refrain and doo-wop sound throughout.
Voices and Words
Another great one by Eric you won’t find on the album.
Gracie
Their perennial encore gospel number by Eric. You can expect that Simon will be dancing like a taser victim and James will always be stripped down into is undershirt at this point of the show.
Their album is called Behind the Veil, Behind the Veil and you can buy it at one of their shows or online on iTunes, Amazon, eMusic or CD Baby. The next show will be happening on Thursday February 17th, 2011 starting at 8pm at Café Campus, Prince Arthur East in Montreal with Beaver Sheppard.
In the meantime, check out their pages on Facebook, CBC Radio 3 and myspace to hear more tracks and find out about future shows.
A discussion at work about Google’s rich history of clever April Fools’ pranks this earlier week resulted in the following announcement to be made on the Otesha Project’s front page that I am just so proud of, I had to share here:
Ride from Ottawa to Hollywood with the BLT!
Agent hasn’t called you in awhile? Want to show your fans you care about the issues? Need fans?
Take a bite out of the BLT! Today we are announcing an extra special tour to be added to our platter of 2010 cycling and performing tours geared specifically towards members of the entertainment industry and people who have nice calf muscles. The ’B’ List Tour will take a group of musicians, actors and past reality television contestants on a glamorous journey from the capital of Canada to the capital of showbiz.
Be the celebrity you wish to see in the world. Apply today.
In case you don’t get it, running a tour that goes from Ottawa to Hollywood for a group of celebrities would be somewhat out of character for the Otesha Project. What we do do is run tours that take regular young people across different parts of Canada. Our tour members aren’t professional actors, but they do use theatre as a tool to mobilize Canadians to make global and local change through their individual and collective choices. For more information on Otesha and our actual tours visit our bike tours page.
Kudos to our Lavi, our new Office Tech, who combined the below shot of a past Sunshine Coast Tour with a stock photo of the iconic Hollywood Sign to create the above photoshop masterpiece.
Like a kid in a candy store. After the monks ran out of ideas they started to build the same thing in different sizes. The above two photos should make an optical illusion that is blowing your mind right now.
If the last leg was the Samuel Benoit Sentimental Tour of India this one would be the Anis Sobhani Sentimental Tour of Old Buildings in India. The morning brought the news of Benazir Bhutto, an event that we saw straight away solidify the general opinion among Indians that Pakistan is a basket-case. Grieving aside, we had the Ajanta Caves to see. But are they really caves? I thought I had seen caves; these dark, wet little holes in the ground with broken beer bottles in them and “x + y= ♥” written on the walls. Buddhist monks two thousand years ago apparently missed the point and dug a bunch of palatial mansions for Buddha in the side of a mountain. Continue reading →
